Haven’t updated this in a little while, but let me just say that when someone makes a very obvious statement or remark that is directed at me… It royally pisses me off. Thank you Mr. Fucking Obvious. Thank you for enlightening me with… Oh wait, I ALREADY KNEW THAT!
I am not, nor will I ever be a size 2.
There, now that that is said and out of the way, let me progress by exclaiming that hair stylists that feel a need to shame large women who want to get their luxurious locks cut off in a daring (and need I say very cute?) pixie cut – ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Are they trying to say they don’t want my generous tip for a service well executed? Whatever the case, I get my hair shaped in a style that I like. Me. I. My-fucking-self. Get it? Got it? GOOD.
Fat bitches everywhere, be shamed no longer and spring for that totally cute pixie cut! And should the stylist you are sitting before say anything remotely like; “Well, that haircut is better fitted for skinny people.” Or, “Let’s try something else that will work with your facial structure.” – Punch the SHIT out of them!
No, seriously, don’t do that – but what you can do is either assert yourself in your decision, sneer at them and ask for another stylist who isn’t prone to shitting from their mouth or try that little thing called being classy, smiling and moving on to another salon who has no qualms with performing the task you are so diligently (and assertively!) looking to have done.
Because, seriously? Fuck a bunch of fat shaming. It’s YOUR head, style it how YOU want with confidence. Needless to say, I’m overdue to get my little pixie cut! Here’s to hoping I don’t perform a sneer worthy of one Severus Snape or worse – slap the shit out of someone.
Many of us think of our lives as boringly normal, while others live the high life. Take a step back, and take a look at your life as an outsider might. Now, tell us at least six unique, exciting, or just plain odd things about yourself.
Sarcasm is our weapon of choice, love and laughter our shield.
As I sit here and look at this daily prompt and its’ urging to tick off random items about ourselves that are unique or exciting – I just cannot do it. It’s not that I have neither the qualities nor the gumption to do so, it is just that I prefer to go about this in a different way, in a way that flows naturally to me.
Were an outsider to look from the outside of my personal bubble called my daily life, they would get a myriad of miniscule things that make us, us. By us, I mean my husband and I. For the last almost seven years it has been he and I, my best friend, my confidante, my lover. In those seven years an outsider would witness the deepest and most abiding love in the form of laughter, sarcasm, witty repartee, deep conversations about any and everything. Most would not understand it, some would think us simple and some would probably just marvel. I doubt jealousy would register to them, but perhaps they would be in awe instead and take from us a grain of hope that they could have what we have.
Pain for we have tried for years to expand our tiny family without success.
Sarcasm, jokes, a brave smile to continue onward when it seems bleak.
You would see that sarcasm is our weapon of choice for those who could never understand our day to day, we wield it naturally and cannot be unseated by others easily.
You would see that no matter the poverty, no matter the outside influence, no matter the monetary loss or gain – love and laughter holds us together. For some that may be far from normal, but to us it is entirely the norm and it is our day to day, unchanging.
1. Facebook: I get that interfaces change continually and often for the ease of the user, but some of the changes are just so idiotic and useless. I think it’s about time we get a new social media network. So over Facebook.
2. Tattoo Shaming: While browsing through a tattoo group on Facebook a couple days ago, I saw numerous comments on photos of tattooed women from other women saying things such as; “That’s overdoing it”, “Can’t wait to see what this bitch looks like 60 years from now” and “That’s so ugly, why do people do this to themselves?” Omg, it makes me fairly grind my teeth! If it so offends you, WHY make the effort to comment on it to begin with? There is nothing wrong with slathering your body in tattoos and guess what – it’s THEIR choice, asshole. You people need to do something else, you have way too much time on your hands.
3. Feminism: Because, God-fucking-Damnit, I like feeling like a dainty fucking flower sometimes! I get it, you want equal rights for women, and I thought we had reached that pinnacle of power by now for all the bitching and complaining we’ve done as women over the last century. Let’s take it down a notch, bitches.
4. Porn/Stripper Shaming: It seems this list is more of rant against angry and jealous women, but… Ladies, why do you feel the need to shame other women who choose to make pornographic films? Tired of hearing the same shit from you, “Being objectified by men, such a whore, blah, blah, blah.” Get a new argument or shut the fuck up about it. If I could, I’d totally be a porn star or a stripper.
And, because I have to get ready for work… This is to be continued!
Since my first post was a bit, how do you say – dramatic? I’ll start somewhat fresh with a proper introduction!
My name is Jen, I hate my name, I’m 29 years young, happily married to my best friend whose blog you should follow and can be found @ http://beefyhouse.com! We have no fleshy children, but plenty of furry children and even some scaly children… Oh and let’s not forget about our little shelled child, either. I like to think I’m hilarious and if you don’t think so, too, well then… you’re dumb, so there! I am equal parts sensitive, sarcastic, emotional and something else, I don’t know what – maybe crazy? I’m a writer! I love to write! Horrible poetry that has no rhythm. Literary role-play on RP forums, short stories (of which I haven’t written in I don’t know how long) and now a blog which I’ll likely neglect more than actually write in. I’m a fairly open book, read me.
I held you in my hands,
Time was infinitesimal,
The beauty of your face,
Worth every second,
Pain upon wakening.
I think I hide it very well behind jokes both grossly inappropriate and jokes on myself. But the fact is, the fact we’re barren hurts. The pain is not fleeting, it is a constant pressure on my psyche and heart. Dreams such as the one I had last night are constant reminders of my inadequacy. In my dream we named her Katie and she was precious in those few seconds. I saw her in your arms; I always knew you’d make an amazing father.
I give myself just five minutes of freely shed tears and look – I’m ready to laugh again, making inappropriate jokes about my maternal inadequacy.