Category Archives: Personal

Hello Blogging World

Since my first post was a bit, how do you say – dramatic? I’ll start somewhat fresh with a proper introduction!

My name is Jen, I hate my name, I’m 29 years young, happily married to my best friend whose blog you should follow and can be found @ http://beefyhouse.com! We have no fleshy children, but plenty of furry children and even some scaly children… Oh and let’s not forget about our little shelled child, either. I like to think I’m hilarious and if you don’t think so, too, well then… you’re dumb, so there! I am equal parts sensitive, sarcastic, emotional and something else, I don’t know what – maybe crazy? I’m a writer! I love to write! Horrible poetry that has no rhythm. Literary role-play on RP forums, short stories (of which I haven’t written in I don’t know how long) and now a blog which I’ll likely neglect more than actually write in. I’m a fairly open book, read me.

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Infinitesimal

I held you in my hands,
Time was infinitesimal,
The beauty of your face,
Worth every second,
Pain upon wakening.

I think I hide it very well behind jokes both grossly inappropriate and jokes on myself. But the fact is, the fact we’re barren hurts. The pain is not fleeting, it is a constant pressure on my psyche and heart. Dreams such as the one I had last night are constant reminders of my inadequacy. In my dream we named her Katie and she was precious in those few seconds. I saw her in your arms; I always knew you’d make an amazing father.

I give myself just five minutes of freely shed tears and look – I’m ready to laugh again, making inappropriate jokes about my maternal inadequacy.